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Joe Dubin: Excuse me, how many a day?




I read someplace that if you really want to lose weight, for two weeks write down every single thing you have eaten.

When those 14 days are up, sit down and read that list.

They said you would be repulsed by not only what you have eaten, but by all the money you have spent eating that food.

I then wondered if it applied to something else I needed to stop doing and whether would it affect me in that same way of just being disgusted with myself if I wrote it down.

The answer is yes.

Before I tell you what it is, I have talked to many of y’all, and the same thing is happening in your world.

We can’t stop drinking Diet Coke. Nothing against Pepsi or Dr. Pepper and the rest, but specifically Diet Coke. I can’t stop, and I have convinced myself that because the word “diet” is in there, it is okay that I drink 30 of them.

So I decided to apply that approach for two weeks of writing down every time I drank a Diet Coke, and my goodness, it was eye-opening for me.

In a 14-day period, I drank 66 Diet Cokes. 66! I was drinking nearly five Diet cokes per day. Absolutely terrible.

Once I picked myself up off the floor, I sat down and looked at that list and thought for sure it would be only 30, if that. Maybe 20, and I would be relieved. I asked myself over and over and asked, “How many a day?”

Just awful.

Immediately, I stopped. Just like that, I stopped. I even had eight Diet Cokes sitting in my fridge.

I had a brief conversation with the eight remaining Cokes in there and said, “Look, it is not you. It is me. It is just not working out, and this hurts me far deeper than it does you. Please see the secretary on the way out for your severance check. Best of luck.”

Now, there will be a chance I might have one or two down the line, but right now, nope. I should have started writing down how many I had on a daily basis a long time ago, but I can’t rewrite my diary, so we start from here and go forward.

I have now, reluctantly, started drinking more water. Those who have known me a long time know my love of water is almost nil, but we have had some long talks on how we can work together, so that is promising.

Sixty-six Diet Cokes in 14 days. Just writing that again makes me sick to my stomach.

Next up on the list: How many Egg McMuffins do I consume from McDonald’s on a two-week cycle?

I might need more paper for this one.

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